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Game Review

Punched through the crust of the dry earth is a deep lakebed, the sides of which are tall cliffs. The air is thick with black foul air; the smog of the forgotten realm of a sleeping giant. A geyser goes off, adding white steam to the dark mass of polluted air. A forboding shape moves forward into the jet.

A creature, taller than... anything, moves out of the murk. The ninth colossus I've faced, and the ninth to fall. The legs of the creature come out next, knees pointing away from the body like a giant bug, the limbs attachted to a spikey mass.

The animal's face is like a bullfrog's, only made of solid stone and covered in small spikes. The whole beast is made of stone, as if an ornate building decided to get up and walk. The creature is looking at me with its small blue eyes.

Come and get me, if you think you can take it.

It stands still, then raises its head up to the stormy sky. Three circles of light buzz with electricity on its chin, and then projectiles as fast as lightning fly from the monster towards me. I roll and dodge.

Then it watches me again. I pull out my bow and nock an arrow. Aim. Release.

The creature grumbles like a thunderstorm and plods forwards, and I run.

I hear the sweet sound of steam shooting out of the earth. Looking back I see the gigantic mass of the colossus lifted into the air, and it mumbles with surprise, tucking its legs into itself like an injured spider, so I run at it.

A voice speaking in an ancient tongue echoes across time and space; it tells me that I should aim for the limbs supporting the floating colossus. I nock another arrow and see lime-green joints beneath its ankles. I shoot, the beast whimpers. The foot curls in on itself. I repeat the process with the other foot, and the colossus falls, rolling onto its back like a titanic beetle. Finally is collapses onto its side. It's broad stone back with a walkway from tail to head is facing me like a cliff. I walk up and see...
There's no handholds. Great. An hour of gaming, and luring the slow dopy giant across the area over a geyser and I can't find a way to climb on and stab its weak points.


There are good sides and downsides to Shadow of The Colossus. Actually there's just good sides. 
Yes, as a giant stone crow flings you across the map, making you lose health and curse life itself you hate the game. And as you knock over a giant creature only to find a lack of handholds you wish you never started playing.  But... It's the satisfaction afterwards you get.
Even when you murder the beautiful sea serpent, or the awe-inspiring giant-horse-with-dreadlocks-and-rib-bones, you feel good. Even when killing a crocodile-gecko that breathes orange gas, even when bringing down the wonderful long-tailed crow; no matter how amazing the beast, during the heat of battle you feel hatred towards things to large they'll kill you before they notice you. You enjoy the colossus slaying. It's addictive.
The game is set in an epic landscape, where a boy wearing an epic poncho talks to some epic gods who tell him to slay epic monsters on an epic quest to save his girlfriend. Riding a black mare and carrying an ancient sword, you set off on a journey that makes you...
It's just an epic game.
If you have a playstation 2, seek out Shadow of The Colossus.


Dark Dragon

Pancakes!

Oh readers, oh dear, dear readers!

I've left you alone so long! Pictures, you must have pictures!

Right, so what interesting things have preoccupied my holiday? What's made me neglect to write on the Blog?

...

Nowt really.  Sorry.

Wait.

I've borrowed another game for a friend:

The people who made THAT game are also making THIS game:

Now some funnies:

Dark Dragon

Valentine's Day

For the first time ever I felt lonely on Valentine's Day, so I went to the farm next door and found some body parts to create Ringlefinch McTuffet, the creature you see above. He's my boyfriend and he can make coffee with his hand.
Who needs love? :D
And now, some action bunnies:

Dark Dragon

Crow Murders Person then Steals Their Hands

I just want to make myself believe...

Greetings, the Dark Dragon has returned for yet another Random post.

Are they really that Random? Is anything Random, or is there a Design made by a Higher Being?

It's Random. Random Post. THE Random Post. Well, okay, I tend to badger on about games I've played, books I've read (oh, Wheel of Time!) and my life, which is far too linear to be random seeing as I do nothing.

But I say a crow yesterday flying along with a glove. That's random, eh? There may have been a hand in that glove...

THE BIRDS.

Looking at the view counter, we've got nearly 3000 views, which makes me say "Cor, blimey!" and look at the views we've had since we've started. This Blog appears to be world famous; most popular in the UK, the USA, Germany and Russia, and our most popular months are April and November of last year, when both myself and Mcdogface were posting often, with short posts with facts, jokes and randoms in.

So when Mcdogface gets a working computer I'll force him to post just as frequently as I do, so it's not just Dark Dragon Ramble after Dark Dragon Ramble.

Why am I rambling on a Wednesday? Shouldn't I be at school?

Teacher Training. They do work, kids get two days added to half-term; win win.

Picture:

A Friendly Rastafarian Sammael; my favourite critter from Hellboy, and that includes the second film. Sammael is a cute green thing who kills people, known as Sammael the Desolate One, Prince of Shadows and Hound of Ressurection. That funny picture comes from a website that reviews good films. They also introduce a character from Hellboy with a picture:

Watch Hellboy. And Hellboy 2. Then read the comic Hellboy, Seed of Destruction. I'm too busy listening to groovy Assassin's Creed Tunes. ^_^

...And a love song about a tranny (don't judge it! It's awesome) :

Dark Dragon

Education, Cats and Snow

Greeting readers of The Random Post, the Dark Dragon is making a post.

This post will educate you.

Watch the Tetris related video below, and the song will explain Soviet Russia in a simple way:

I am the man who arranges the blocks...

Anyhow, what has Dark Dragon been up to?

Yesterday I decided to see if I could paint watercolours, and the answer is "Yes, I can. Well done me!" and then I went to play a game that Mcdogface lent me (If you are wandering, Mcdogface's computer is toasted, and the keyboard sparks every now and then, so he is unable to go on the internet to Blog.) (Not joking about the sparking keyboard) and it was the amazing game Assassin's Creed: Revelations.

Now, I'm sorry to say that I haven't actually played much of the other games by myself, I'm often watching my brother, and stealing the controller everytime he leaves the room. Luckily, I get the gist of it.

You play as some dude with a vacant expression and jeans who is put into a Matrix-type machine to live the lives of his ancestors, both of whom were infamous assassins. The games are based on historical fact, but do have some silly things in them.

For instance, you can find Wanted posters half way up brick walls. And you get to collect feathers to remember a dead brother. 0_o

Well anyhow, I put the disk in the Xbox and was exited. Finally, I'd be able to play an Assassin's Creed game, and not just any one, REVELATIONS!

Then there was a meow at the door. I opened it, and Sam came in, making 'pruup' noises. I sat down on the sofa and returned to the opening of the game. Sam decided that trying to rub my face with his head at this point would be helpful. I shuffled down the sofa away from him, so he got on the back on the sofa, rubbed against the back of my head, sat on the armrest and tried to get on my knee.

So I  switched seats, taking the armchair in the corner.

The cat followed.

Now, you might be thinking, "Why not pet the cat?". I'll tell you why.

Sam, in all his ginger one-eyedness, likes people. He will sit on a person, rub his face all over yours, even try to see what's in your mouth when you speak, wave his bum in the air, and he usually kneeds his claws into your leg. He is not an Assassin's Creed cat.

After the cat managed to get the message that I DID NOT WANT TO CUDDLE HIM he buzzed off to meow at someone else.

Back to the game.

The game crashed.

It took me half an hour to play through the small 'surreal coast with giant inexplainable cuboids of concrete' part because of the cat. But the cutscene that begins all of the 'YOU ARE AN ASSASSIN FROM THE PAST BOO YEAH' stuff wouldn't play. After turning the Xbox off and on a few times I took a look at the disk. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

This is Mcdogface's game. Belonging to Mcdogface. It looked like an ant's ice-skating rink. Trembling, I put the disk carefully back in the machine.

Next time when the cutscene came to town, I skipped it.

Yes! The game still worked, only I had no idea what was going on.

Or why I was following a ghost around epic rooftops, copying the ninja moves to did to ascend huge towers. I finally realised that I could be scared of heights in a game.

I followed that ghost, even what it grabbed hold of a strange thing and SWUNG AROUND A CORNER A BILLION FEET UP IN THE AIR. And then there was the parachute, oh joy. Actually, the parachute wasn't that bad, just working out if the game was joking about jumping off a really high ledge was... scary.
Anyhow, I had to follow some Templar dudes who got on a cart and rode away.
"Awww" I thought. "Failed my first mission."
But nope, the agile main character leapt forward and grabbed a hold of a rope trailing behind the cart. Is he mad?! I then spent some time being dragged behind the cart regretting everything. There is a difference between a Daredevil and a completely and awesomely insane assassin.
Anyhow, looked around on youtube to find the missing cutscene which the game crashed at:

Now I'm going to panic about the cold snow outside. Gawd, I hate snow.


Dark Dragon

Wahoo!

Hallo readers of this most excellent Blog! Before I continue may I remind you that my co-blogger, the Founder of the Random Post, has his own blog, and a link to it is just sitting there, somewhere on the right of this page. Go on. Click. He's doing youtube spotlights, and everyone likes watching videos.
Read Mcdogface's Cave of Randomness.
Well here I am, and here is Spiderman:

Sorry, I just announced you were Spiderman.
So, why am I so happy?
I PASSED MY GERMAN EXAM, BOO YAH! FUR ROH DAH BABY, FUS ROH DAH! (blows all my notes across the room).
And a friend of mine has got interested in The New Nation (my pseudo-blog. A sort of online community/roleplaying thingy) so finally I'll have some new members, which might encourage others to join. ^_^
So this weekend I'll have time to upload my new art video, which is better than the last one for various reasons.
Have I got anything else to say?
Probably!
But I don't know what to type out. So, video time:

Dark Dragon


These are images from the new art video: