(His house is the red 'X'.) So I'll leave you with a few videos (for those of you paying attention, my cat Loki has found his way home. He was injured and skinny, but now he is fine and purry.)
And now some bragging about a story I'm writing I(I think you can click these things to enlarge them or something):
Oh, you poor things! Left for a week-and-a-bit without a Random Post! Here, have some of the good stuff:
Sorry, but nothing has been going on in the North of England. Hail, snow, rain... Mostly rain and hail, but my house is high up so I get more of the cold stuff. My cat Loki has gone missing, oh Loki... I've discovered that Joanne Harris has written a sequel to Runemarks called Runelight: it has Fennir (called Fennris) and Skol and Hati in it. Daemon wolves. Read it. And as well as nightmares I seem to have been studying in my sleep. I woke up covered in work books and blank sheets of paper. Odd? I think so.
According to The Knowledge Book, a race of god-like aliens are flying through space towards Earth. One of them is called Allah, or sometimes just O. A few special people have their minds attuned to the higher frequency that the aliens work at, and the rest of us aren't. The aim of life's game if to tune your brain into Radio Alien by re-writing the Knowledge Book (which is a volume consisting of emails sent into the brain of a chosen human from an alien) and taking your manuscript on a pilgrimage to Turkey. You may only re-write the book once you have converted six other people to the faith. And everything is proved by mathmatical sums based on diagrams (add the numbers on one square, add all your numbers together, divide by two and add one: wow! You'll always end up on thirteen!) so it must be true. Cats will evolve into humans. My Dad's cousin came over for a few days and tried to convert him to her religion using The Knowledge Book. I flicked through it, and nearly laughed. I did laugh. But it is her faith, so meh.
It has been a good holiday: I've met up with Mcdogface and My Good Friend Judith, and then I had Freya and Jenny over to watch a million DVDs. Nearly all my friends over in the space of two weeks: wowza!
My good friend Ellie has made a film. here is the trailer (film is out in May) :
Over the past few days I've been playing Divinity 2; a highly addictive and delicious game. A few years ago, I got 'Divinity 2: Ego Draconis', a game that allows you to turn into a dragon. Fun, until you realise that you have to play until past half of the game to fully unlock your draconic powers. But until then, there are side-quests galore, funny characters with exaggerated accents and a million frustrating enemies. For Christmas, I got 'Divinity 2: The Dragon Knight Saga'; which is Ego Draconis and its sequel, Flames of Vengence. This was good, because Ego Draconis ended with the world ending: you help the bad guys through the entire game, and the voice in your head is not Talana, the dragon knight, but Ygerna, Damien's evil wife. You cause the end of the world. [spoiler] Any how, the past few days I've been playing the sequel, and as is traditional with Divinity 2 games, it has been a slow and hard journey to walk across the dead-infested streets of Aleroth. Divinity 2 is the kind of game where 'saving' the game file is more that just something you do before you switch off; it is a survival strategy. You need to save, or you will die. If you are a level 36 fighting a level 37, it will sneeze your limbs off without noticing.
But now? Now I'm playing Mass Effect, kindly lent to me, along with more Assassin's Creed games, by Mcdogface. Yayyyyyyy! Mass Effect is a game set in the future, in a time when humans have discovered ways to travel around space at the speed of light. The humans have teamed up with aliens to form a shaky Alliance. You get to play as Commander Shepherd, a gormless person who refuses to do as you say. After encountering an ancient artifact, Shepherd sees some interesting images: random flashes of red and metal. Very inconclusive. When asked what I saw, I chose the option "Oh, I just had a nightmare", which caused the camera to zoom in on my face dramatically, while Shepherd said "I...I had a vision." What? I clearly picked 'it was just a nightmare'!!! Later, when asked about the 'vision' I chose the option 'I'm not to sure', meaning that I didn't quite know what I saw. Shepherd seemed to decide that my choice was wrong, and that I, in fact, saw (dramatic camera angle) "Death... They were killing us... It was horrible... I think it was the Geth, I think there will be a war..." WHAT??! The funny thing about Mass Effect is that you can choose what kind of traumatic past your character had. I tried to give mine a sheltered life; I wasn't a War Hero or a Last Survivor, but a stuck-up and ruthless soldier following in my parents footsteps. There were options to have had all your family turned into slaves, or to make you an orphan, but I avoided them. There are nice aliens of Mass Effect called turians. They look pretty, but all talk like they are on an episode of Star Treck, and so far don't have personalities. But they do have fangs, and cute cat-mouths and glowing green eyes. D'awwwwwww. :'D
As I cling onto my parachute and narrowly dodge a building, I briefly consider how I got into this situation. Attached with a thick length of rope to the horse-drawn farm cart, I am being pulled through the air at an alarming rate, and I wander if anyone ahead would notice if I just... puked. I swoop down with my knife and push a man off his horse, slitting his throat as I do so. I mean... How do master assassins get into these situations? Must be something to do with The Apple of Eden, or Ezio's inherited ability of the Eagle vision. I finished Assassin's Creed Revelations, and I couldn't spoil the ending if I wanted to because I really, really don't understand it. Desmond just shouted "I know what to do!" and that was the end. Hmmmmmz. The other day, my brother and I had to weigh down some rubber for a pond. Five hours outside in the sunshine and cold. Blec. My brother fell asleep and a buzzard, an actual BUZZARD, flew overhead to check if he was dead. Today? Snow. Lots and lots of snow. How? Cthulhu only knows. It's sort of melting... I presume it is melting. I can't see it melting, but it must be. The sun is shining, right?
Ok, I'm gonna try a new strategy for life. Sure, life is shit and it's only there as a loading screen before you die, but, if you ignore all the shit, then life seems at least bearable, so that's my new strategy, here's hoping for success :)
-McDogFace
Sunday, 1 April 2012
if you are a 'lady killer' or a 'man eater' that I HATE YOU AND IM GOING TO SAW YOU OPEN WITH A BREADKNIFE AND FORCE FEED YOU YOUR OWNGUTS AND RUP YOUR BONES APART!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU THROW PEOPLE'S AFFECTIONS AWAY LIKE SHIT; PICKING AT THEIR HEARTS LIKE A BLOODY CARRION CROW, PULLING OUT THE PAIN LIKE A STRINGY INTESTINE YOU HAVE NO RIGHT YOU BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL MURDER YOU! AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO DUMP THEM FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO AND DIE IN A CESSPIT YOU WORTHLESS CUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!